is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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