I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
