He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Still dying that you shit outside
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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