I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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