what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
