Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
