Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
