About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just had sex on a roof
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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