im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
