I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
When are your genitals available?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
