some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
