Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
