Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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