It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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