does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
3 2 1 whiskey
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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