But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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