Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize