I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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