bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
