Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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