He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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