The maid of honor just puked.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize