Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
