Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
a search helicopter?!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize