Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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