Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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