The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
