My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We named our party play list daddy issues
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
