I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
