i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
After tacos, we're chasing women.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
