Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
