they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
