At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
