i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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