Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
