I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
