worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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