dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
