my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
