I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
