I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
