Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
