The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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