He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
