im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I believe in your delicious
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
