from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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