i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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