How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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