C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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