protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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