ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize