I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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