dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
