Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize