yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
