Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
