can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize