Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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