bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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