I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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