is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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