5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
