Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize