I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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