just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
