Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
