We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize