I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
