He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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