it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
